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Definitive pocket-sized whistle-blower on our new theatre of the absurd - the ever-growing torrent of ridiculous things that people say about football. Erudite, funny, easy to read, it encapsulates the love-hate relationship we have with football and its attendant tide of pseudo-scientific analysis and regurgitated cliches. Ideal stocking-filler for the obsessive in your life.

Over 500 entries include:

Greaves, Jimmy – if only he had been selected for the final eleven, we would have won the 1966 World Cup

Sex - to be avoided at all times, particularly on the night before a match. Also true for players.